One question ended most of my arguments

In any disagreement, you can pursue one of two goals: being right, or finding out the truth. You cannot pursue both at the same time.

Here is how you know which one you are pursuing. Your shoulders rise, your jaw tightens, and you start talking faster and cutting off the other person. That is not logic operating; that is an ego defending its territory.

A manager once cut me off in an architecture meeting and bluntly said my plan would never work. My initial instinct was to get angry and fight back. Instead, I stopped, took a breath, and asked myself one plain question: is he right? He actually had a solid point, and admitting it immediately ended the conflict.

The next time you feel your jaw tighten in an argument, ask yourself that question silently before you speak. You don't have to surrender your point, but you have to genuinely check reality. Check out my book Why I Love in the link below.