Employers hire for personality when they actually need character

Part 1: The Billion Dollar Sorting Machine (0:00–1:00)

Open on the industry around personality tests and the question employers actually ask.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a billion-dollar industry.

Eighty-nine of the Fortune 100 companies use personality tests on their employees. During the Second World War, Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers created the test to help people sort themselves into civilian jobs where they thought they would fit best. Today, when you apply for a job, human resources teams spend millions of dollars trying to find out which four letters you have. They want to know your type. They want to know if you are extroverted or introverted, intuitive or sensing.

And I think that entire industry is looking at the wrong thing.

Because a personality test can tell an employer what you look like on the outside. It cannot tell an employer who you actually are.

And that brings me to a question I've been thinking about for years: what is the difference between personality and character?

Part 2: Bubbly vs. Honest, Nice vs. Kind (1:00–2:30)

Direct contrast between superficial presentation and inner virtue. Work and dating examples.

I've come to think of it this way: personality is an extroverted thing. It is what you show to the room. It is your presentation, your manners, your social style, your persona. Character is an introverted thing. It is what you carry on the inside. It is what you do when things get uncomfortable, when nobody is applauding, and when doing the right thing costs you something.

Look at hiring. If I am hiring someone for my team, do I want an employee who is bubbly, or an employee who is honest?

Bubbly is a personality trait. It is an image. It is an upbeat voice in a morning meeting and a warm smile at the coffee maker. But someone can be bubbly and still hide a critical mistake on a project because they are terrified of conflict. Someone can be bubbly and tell a client what they want to hear instead of what is actually true.

Honesty is not a personality trait. It is a virtue. It is a quality of character. An employee might be quiet. They might not laugh at every joke in the break room. But when a deadline is slipping, they look you in the eye and tell you the truth before the whole project goes off the rails.

You see the exact same thing when you date.

When I go on a date, do I want a nice man, or a kind man?

Nice is an appearance. Nice is holding the door, complimenting your shirt, and remembering your favorite drink. Those are pleasant social manners, but they are easy to perform on a Friday night when you want someone to like you. Kindness is something else entirely. Kindness is staying by a hospital bed when someone is sick. Kindness is keeping a promise on a Tuesday afternoon when you're exhausted and you'd rather do anything else. Nice is how someone presents. Kindness is who someone is.

How do we shift the discussion away from what we look like or appear to be? Because looks can be disappointing. The candidate who charms the whole room in thirty minutes can be the very person who tears a team apart six months later.

Part 3: The Commodification of Self and the Interview Mask (2:30–4:30)

The experience of feeling unemployable, the limits of resumes, and the value of recommendations.

When you look for a job, you feel this pressure immediately.

I'm sitting across from an interviewer. I know what they are looking for. They want someone energetic, optimistic, collaborative, assertive—all the approved adjectives on the job description. So you perform. You put on the mask. You package yourself into a neat sales pitch.

And that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, because being yourself starts to feel like a commodity. You aren't just selling your time or your technical skill. You are putting your personal identity on a shelf and trying to make it look attractive to buyers.

And if you aren't naturally extroverted, or bubbly, or loud, you walk out of that building feeling like you have the wrong personality. You feel unemployable. You think: "I don't fit into these boxes. I don't know how to perform this role forty hours a week without losing my mind."

What people forget in that moment is that having a quiet or unconventional personality does not mean you lack value. You might have deep reliability. You might care about craftsmanship. You might have patience, fairness, and calm under pressure—qualities of character that any company desperately needs.

The problem is that resumes and CVs force employers to hire based on looks. A piece of paper and a thirty-minute interview only capture the surface. They capture how well you market yourself.

That is why a strong referral or a personal recommendation is so valuable if you're someone whose qualities live on the inside. When someone who has worked alongside you says, "Hire this person. I've seen them when things go wrong. They don't run away, they don't blame others, and they finish what they start," that recommendation cuts right through the interview performance. It speaks to your character, not your pitch.

Part 4: Moving Underneath the Mask (4:30–End)

Book tie-in with Why I Love, the choice of commitment, and the closing question.

This distinction between appearance and commitment is the reason I wrote my new book, Why I Love.

For a decade, I made videos about four-letter personality types. I gave people descriptions of what they looked like. But descriptions keep you trapped in an image. They keep you asking: "How do I look? Am I presenting the right type? Am I acting like an INFJ or an ENTP?"

In Why I Love, I'm inviting you to step underneath the mask.

Who are you underneath the persona you put on for your boss, your colleagues, or your social media feed?

What happens when you stop worrying about having a charismatic personality, and you start practicing character? What happens when you decide to show up as someone honest, someone kind, and someone who takes responsibility for what they create?

Character is not a badge you test into. Character is a set of practices. It is what you do when you show up every morning.

My book is available for pre-order right now, and the link is down in the description below.

I'd like to ask you a question: Have you ever felt forced to pretend to have a different personality just to get hired or fit in at work? And what is one quality of character you bring to your work that a resume never shows?

Tell me in the comments. I read every one.