Fear passes in an afternoon, regret lasts ten years

In Why I Love, the practice for loving your future is about action: I go after what I want while I am still afraid of it, and I have clear things I am looking forward to a year from now. When something scares me, I still try if it is important to me. I don't turn an opportunity down and then invent a clever excuse to justify playing it safe.

When I was seventeen, my school class organized a three-week trip to India. I had barely traveled, and the thought of flying and being that far from home terrified me to the bone. Because I was active in politics, I announced that air travel was environmentally immoral and stayed home to protect the climate. I got to look like a principled hero on the outside, when in reality, I was just terrified of stepping onto the airplane.

My classmates came home with vivid stories, and I felt a deep, bitter regret that taught me a lesson I have carried ever since: fear passes in an afternoon, but the decisions you let fear make will stay with you for ten years. Worse, fear rarely presents itself honestly as fear. It disguises itself as a high-minded moral principle or sensible excuse, and because it looks like a principle, we never question it.

At amusement parks for years, I would stand below the roller coaster, stare up at the loops, and shake my head while my friends had the time of their lives. One afternoon, I finally forced myself into the seat. Once my brain realized the ride was already moving and there were no more excuses, the panic vanished and I actually enjoyed it. Facing what scares you replaces a decade of quiet regret with an afternoon of genuine pride.

Trying to hold on to complete certainty in life is like trying to hold water in your hands: the tighter you squeeze, the faster it leaks through your fingers. Courage is how you make your future possible; every meaningful future you have ever wanted came from taking a risk, expanding your comfort zone, or doing something that initially frightened you. Hope returns the moment you realize that what you do today directly protects and builds the version of you who comes next.

Try this practical date test for a decision you are currently avoiding. Write down the reason you gave for hesitating, and then write down two dates: the day the opportunity arrived, and the day your reason appeared. If the reason showed up after the opportunity, you are looking directly at fear. Pre-orders for Why I Love are open below; what is one chance you avoided that you wish you had taken?